The Blue Book of Fr. FHM-Alhut

A true and faithful selection of entries from my magickal record deemed fit for public consumption

"She said a little swim would do some wonders for your skin. I shed my oaths and slipped into the sea" The Innsmouth Look -- Darkest of the Hillside Thickets

Overview of causative circumstances that led to taking up the lamp, dagger and staff and winding the serpent track of return.

Hypoxic birth followed by early years dominated by laryngospasms:

My air supply was often cut off, I would find myself in near hypoxic states towards late evening, our family GP would get out of bed and race to our home to administer an injection to open the pathway (back in the days when GP's would make emergency house calls). During these states I would be in another world while my physical self was gasping for air, I learned that in order to survive this I needed to slow my heartbeat down as much possible. In this state I would slip out of my body and watch my panicked mother from a vantage point near the ceiling - I would then "jaunt" to my happy places during these episodes - a babbling stream that ran right right past our house, I would either follow the stream down to the sea a hundred meters away and go swimming and dive deep down or upstream into the little glade where I would go to catch frogs and tadpoles. I discovered I could maintain a connection to my body with it's heart rate slowed and play in an analog of my physical world in the astral.

Sleep Paralysis episodes, energetic experiences and nocturnal visitations:

My memories go back to about 3 years old on these, the first type of sleep paralysis was coupled with kundalini racing up my spine - "little green men" with laser guns were shooting at my lower back and the electric energy would shake and rattle me as it shot through my spine and out the top of my head. The other entity encountered was a tall shadow with a wide brimmed hat and glowing white eyes standing in the corner of the room, I was not scared of him, it wasn't until 2014 that I made the connection to the "hat man", I had thought he was the ghost of the tram inspector whose house we had bought and were living in. Another type of entity looked just like Slimer from Ghostbusters. Since this was the 70's it would be a while before Ghostbusters.. It would hang just above me, slathering, insane yellow glowing eyes, an amorphous green mass with eyes and teeth.. During these episodes there was always ambiguity and confusion regarding the light being on or off, it would appear to be on but upon waking it would be off, this is commonly described in SP episodes and UFO abductions (yes, there is a link). Sometimes there were troops of strange things moving through the house, often one breaking off and stopping to tap me on my forehead with a finger.

This serves as a general introduction and sets the stage for formative experiences that followed and my responses to them - that, for better or worse - are where I currently find myself. Some of the content might be uncomfortable to read where some trauma is talked about, I include this as both a purgative for myself and inspiration for overcoming and healing for any reader that has likewise endured.

FHM-Alhut - aka Richard Green - aka Gareth Passmore.