Bible Black - Katabasis and Eclipse
Winter has been abominable for me, I find myself sleeping and living in a truly sunless part of the house, no natural light whatsoever, I haven't complained about that, I wouldn't let the other folks in the house to have to live like this.. I get the SADS (seasonal affective) - and no amount of supplementing Vit D helps - I thrive by photosynthesizing heaps of the African Sun. My seemingly default state of melancholia, numerous other "time of life" issues has compounded this literal dark and cold SAD (lol, what an acronym), I found myself in the grips of one of those deep dark depressions again, the kind where movement of any sort is hard and all I can do is rot in bed and get to the bottom until I find the ignition event of a "black smoker of the soul" - or in more common alchemical terms: the heat of digestion in the belly of the whale.
My resistance to it made it worse, telling myself to pick myself up and not feel like this - guilty for feeling like I was indulging depression.. Not the way, the way is through..
A few days before that not insignificant Blood Moon Eclipse I had this dream, the material my unconscious drew on was Under Milk Wood , specifically referencing "Bible Black" - see here
I was standing next to my sleeping body and decided to go for a jaunt (as you do). I turned toward the door and it went dark, very dark - I was blind. I decided to fly up over the town - which had transformed into Milk Wood village, flying up and out over the town in driving black rain Starless by King Crimson started playing (my unconscious has a great sense of drama and often the best selector!). I was flying like some kind of tattered vampire in that black and I thought "it's dark, so dark!" and then: "I can shine" - I proceeded to do a "kabalistic cross" in Sumerian:
- ABZU (feet)
- MELLAMU (head)
- ARAMU (left shoulder)
- SEPSU (right shoulder)
- ENU (heart)
I then formed a flying bright white cross and thought to myself that this is indeed "bible black" - a crucifix on a black bible.. I was suddenly plunged into a deep and very black sea and a voice rang out: "If you would do that, this is where you find yourself".
Dream ends.
This Vox Profundis was right, this is Enantiodromia - "the emergence of the unconscious opposite in the course of time." The culmination was in the Blood Moon Eclipse, the Shadow of the Sun is very apparent in an Eclipse of the Moon.. I walked a few KM's down Long Beach, not a soul in sight and it was pitch black and very low tide, I stood with my feet in the water and with back to the sea and facing that Eclipsed Moon I did the Cross again and felt myself merge with SUN EARTH MOON as Osiris dismembered and then Risen, as Dumuzi and Inanna, as his Shadow on SIN (moon)..
Nigredo, Shadow, "Dark Night of the Soul", Leaden Coffin in the Sea, Drowned King, Sol Niger, etc. Many of these over time and sometimes it can be fatal. Timing is good, although Spring and Viriditas is not here yet, now is the time of cooking in my own juices inside the leaden vessel, to be born for another summer at least, a fresh roastling. Black Skinned (FHM) after being ground up in the mouth and going through heat digestion / burnt. FHM (black) ALHUT or Fomalhaut (Fish's Mouth) - that Wormwood Star that fell into the Deep - my chosen Fixed Star.
"In the deep dark the person alone sees light" - Chuang Tzu
"Use your own light and return to the source of light. This is called practicing eternity." Lao Tzu
"To go in the dark with a light is to know the light. To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight, and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings, and is traveled by dark feet and dark wings." Wendell Berry
"Take of it [the prima materia] but very little, divide the whole, grind it earnestly, until it be possessed with death of the intensity of blackness like dust" The Rosarium.
Also: yes, both my unconscious and I have a penchant for melodrama yet were are pragmatists to the last.
